Jaysus.
Met Liz for a quick 5 o clock scoop after I picked up me cheque for 40 Euro (thanks First Direct for reducing your rates and paying us even less, even though they don't take a pay cut and we all have to work harder, thanks). Obviously with my lined pockets I could afford a few beers. Liz got her grant cheque too so I thought she was good to cough up a few pints. We met a few boys and Liz pretended that she fancied one of them so he would buy her a drink.
He didn't, even when she asked.
I would like to think that this was a low moment of hers but she managed to get through it gracefully. Instead I lashed a few on my laser card so were grand. 6 hours later Christine Beep Beep shows up and manages to bring me home. Even though I had my head up me hole. Thanks Chris. And for the breakfast, and I told you I wouldn't go near you so relax.
No jacket. Did the walk of shame back to Hogans bar to pick up my green jacket that I have left there in a total of four times. Same jacket, same guy.
Luckily Chris had the Bruce foresight not to let me cycle home. So my bike left in the rain for the day had an orange glow around the key areas to greet me as I hopped on.
I cant remember who I was talking to in the pub but at one stage when I answered my phone, it slipped out of my hand hitting a girl in the back behind me, crashing on the floor. That was only at 6.30pm. By 12am I was hallucinating while simultaneously seeing into the future.
Liz legged it a bit earlier only after she chased that guy(who didn't by her a drink) off into the secret bar. Legend.
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I rendered the usually womanising Max speechless by pointing out that i would never have his children based on the size of his massive head, i mean can you imagine trying to push something as large as that attached to a baby out of your vagine!!!
ReplyDeleteSure you have a massive box, ye be grand. Nice chat up line though Liz.
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